Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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