problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
