2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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