i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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