Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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