Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I touched a dick in church today
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
