Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
