i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
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