Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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