Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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