At least make sure they are 18
Why
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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