Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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