Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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