Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
