Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Randomize
