My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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