i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
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Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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