Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
