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• (347): View more from New York

  Moan for me like Helen Keller

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (662): View more from Mississippi

  I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.

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• (260): View more from Indiana

  ...oh my god that's like anal suicide

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (415): View more from California

  I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.

  (1-815): View more from Illinois

  You gift wrapped a tampon.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla

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• (530): View more from California

  I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie

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• (+33): View more from France

  Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.

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