david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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