This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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