Texts From Last Night

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  (530): View more from California

  I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!

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  (530): I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds! http://tfl.nu/6diw
  Replies (62) Good night (6764) Bad night (890)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can

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  (630): i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can http://tfl.nu/e7bo
  Replies (26) Good night (1843) Bad night (5319)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.

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  (405): he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever. http://tfl.nu/wct5
  Replies (15) Good night (1378) Bad night (5841)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.

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  (903): Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week. http://tfl.nu/2lhm
  Replies (18) Good night (1254) Bad night (2724)
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  (760): View more from California

  He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?

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  (760): He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite? http://tfl.nu/b780
  Replies (6) Good night (3388) Bad night (1024)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.

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  (608): A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood. http://tfl.nu/4fl8
  Replies (7) Good night (2242) Bad night (1897)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato

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  (708): you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato http://tfl.nu/7tnq
  Replies (4) Good night (2640) Bad night (633)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.

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  (312): Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that. http://tfl.nu/azva
  Replies (4) Good night (733) Bad night (806)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.

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  (443): You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are. http://tfl.nu/njd0
  Replies (5) Good night (1492) Bad night (584)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?

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  (412): Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass? http://tfl.nu/n93b
  Replies (8) Good night (1262) Bad night (494)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets

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  (912): I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets http://tfl.nu/s9b7
  Replies (5) Good night (431) Bad night (717)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing

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  (228): He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing http://tfl.nu/dsmd
  Replies (1) Good night (821) Bad night (622)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.

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  (908): 4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden. http://tfl.nu/r37f
  Replies (3) Good night (653) Bad night (293)
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  (858): View more from California

  Is she okay?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.

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  (858): Is she okay? (773): She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine. http://tfl.nu/rwoi
  Replies (0) Good night (537) Bad night (350)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.

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  (989): Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking. http://tfl.nu/hv73
  Replies (5) Good night (547) Bad night (279)

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