Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA