Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.

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(647): View more from Ontario

Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...

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(862): View more from New Jersey

It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(609): View more from New Jersey

I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything

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(440): View more from Ohio

i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.

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(281): View more from Texas

There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Starting this Monday as I always do

(248): View more from Michigan

With a desperate plea for help

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