Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
