And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
