She is in my trunk
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
