Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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