the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
