Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
