theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
