I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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