Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize