You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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