This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
