Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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