He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
