Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
