how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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