kristin has been a bad kristin
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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