I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
