Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
