Is it normal to miss your booty call?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
