Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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