He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
