I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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