I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
