i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
