Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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