i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize