I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just found a bag of teeth...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
