I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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