I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
