I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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