theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Who died my cat blue again?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
