K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
