my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
