that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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