I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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