Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
