why didn't you poke me back
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
