Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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