There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
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uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
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I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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