Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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