i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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