just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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