after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
