they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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