you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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